AH HA! Don’t think i forgot about this blog yet my friends, i’m still here 🙂
This past month has been a whirlwind of just about everything i didn’t expect.
I don’t think i’ve ever worked harder for something i knew i would fail at.
I don’t think i’ve ever been so unconcerned about something that could go incredibly wrong.
I don’t think i’ve ever felt so emotionally detached from my actions like i have this month.
I’ve been on robot mode.
“Don’t think, just do” was my motto, having to get up every morning at 7am and spent 10 hours at coffee shops or in the library. Now here i am, 12:16 am on Thursday and you know what?
As of Monday evening, the gates to my summer holiday have been opened, the grip i held so tightly on stress and anxiety was peeled away and i have collapsed into a heap of dust. I wake up in the euphoria every morning, imagining all the things i have had planned this summer; seeing friends every day, posting twice a week on the blog, improving my photography skills, having daily photo shoots, taking better care of my body, etc.
It is now currently 12: 19 am on Thursday and i have started none of these things.
I can’t. I just can’t.
I’ve tried with all of my ability to think of something to take photos of, to write a poem, tell a story, ANYTHING.
Nothing. I want to, but i can’t. At this point i just don’t have anything to say.