history

 


*Written five days ago*

My goodness, the future is so imminent and also happening it almost hurts how excited I am. Currently I am writing this post two days  before a new chapter of my life begins (and now editing four days later haha). Everything that I’ve known to be my small world is so soon to tossed out the window, and yet strangely I don’t feel sad.

I don’t regret anything. I’m not dreading a drastic change. It all feels very meant to be.

God has carefully planned every step of my way, all the while there I was panicking if what I was doing would be right or would work out. It all fell into place.

Now when I say they “fell into place”, I intend to convey that everything I have built for so long in a place where things feel sedentary and familiar is suddenly going to disappear from now on. Things are going to be so different in my world that in fact the only constant factor will be me. I’ll still have the people I love, but they will be far. I’ll still have a home, but I won’t live there anymore. But even i will change in this new chapter! My goodness things will be so different in a year from now.

I’ve spent over two years in the same place, with the same few people, driving the same distance every morning with no clear end of the road. It’s all been terrible and wonderful at the same time: a safe place where i was allowed to grow into whatever I chose to be.

Where i’ve been i was able to establish who i am, i was forced to grow up and i think that i’m happy with who i am now.

When i began this journey i had no intentions of meeting any friends, and yet somehow along the way i met some of the most amazing people. Their lives are so different from mine and yet through the ups and downs we formed unbreakable bonds and i am forever grateful for their presence. For a few of these friends, it saddens me to say that i know now that this is most likely the end of our journeys together. In two days we will officially fork paths and say our last goodbyes in the way we always have. A sort of “see you tomorrow” will be replaced by “best of luck, hope to see you in future days.”

For other friends I know that they will always be there no matter what. Our histories together will continue even though we will live six hours away. We will grow as individuals, and yet our roots are connected so deep that nothing could change who we are together.

I feel like I should be sad or worried that I’m leaving the people I love, but for some reason I’m not. I feel confident in those relationships to know that they’ll always be there if i need them, and I am so thankful to God that he has provided such amazing people in my life.

In the past month I think i’ve allowed myself to process the imminent change and let go of the worry. Steve Maraboli once said that “letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” Some amazing people are now part of my history, and some will continue in my destiny. All the while i’m still so excited to see both parties grow and blossom through their own new journeys with and without me present.

2018 is going to be a good year, I can feel it in my bones 🙂 Everything including me will change, but God will always be there leading me along. IM SO EXCITED AHH.


OKAY so a lot has happened in the past few days, all good things though (Except one bad thing, more on that later…). I’ve just settled in, but im planning to post more about my dorm and such so look forward to that 🙂 Ill post more in the next couple days.

ALSOO these pictures of Emma are so pretty shes so amazing I love you so much my goodness ugh. Anyways ok byye

 

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